noelle

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

She waved while she walked. Then I asked her to sit a while, and she was going to, but then her phone vibrated, and she said Sorry, I can't stay, and it made her sound like she was sorry, only I could feel the invisible tremors of relief reverberating through our conversation worn thin. If only you could free me, exonerate me from this prison of silence, from the burden of Having To Make Conversation. My voice is shackled, and it tugs at the shackles, but the shackles don't tug back, they only Are.

If my mind had an eye, it would be All-Seeing. As much as some people claim that a Mind's Eye exists, there has never been any evidence that the mind possesses such an extension. Perhaps they are talking about vision. They say that people like Steve Jobs and Lee Kuan Yew and Steven Gerrard have vision. What does this vision mean? Does it mean being able to see into the future? What about not actually being able to see into the future, but being able to anticipate the likeliest occurrence? Then that isn't Vision, that's just Anticipation, Guesswork - and none of that is included in the faculty of seeing. When you look at something, you don't guess whether it is or it isn't, because in seeing it, you know that it is, or you know that it isn't, whichever the case may be.
This is the most basic definition of what an eye is:
  1. An organ of vision or of light sensitivity.
Which is all good and definitive, but it kind of narrows the possibility of things being eyes. I'm not sure whether that is a good or bad thing, but Older and Wiser people have always told me that being narrow-minded is a bad thing. I suppose narrowness in general can't be that great. You can't walk through narrow alleys comfortably, or if ledges were too narrow you wouldn't be able rest your coffees which taste like drainwater on them, and if cracks were too narrow, you couldn't slip your secrets inside them. I much prefer the more arbitrary definition:

2. The often differently coloured center of the corolla of some flowers.

My Mind's eye will be differently coloured than anyone else's, and I think that lots of people would have same coloured Eyes and since the human eye can recognise only about 30 000 different colours, my eye will be a colour that no one can recognise, and everyone will be puzzled by my eye. Only, they won't know that while they think they are watching my eye, my eye is also simultaneously watching them, and it knows what they are thinking, what they ate for breakfast, how they said No to Action For Aids but Yes to a 75 dollar handkerchief, and how, in the prodigious force of company, they are utterly Alone.

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